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[personal profile] lyore
Authors, take note.

So your plot is sublimely ludicrous. Your grasp of basic physical concepts tenuous at best. Your writing so full of blams and slams (italics included) I feel like I'm reading an old-school Batman comic. In fact, your writing has the highest number of italics and exclamation marks per paragraph that I have ever seen in a published novel.

But for all this, you can still redeem yourself - by calling one of your groups of bad guy bounty hunters the Intercontinental Guards, Unit 88, and abbreviating it throughout your novel as IG-88. Yep, obscure Star Wars references will win me over every time. :)

The other thing to note about Matthew Reilly is that he appears to have a curious obsession with people being eaten alive. So far this weekend, I've read 3 of his novels (Ice Station, Area 7 and Scarecrow), and off the top of my head I recall people being eaten alive by:

a) Killer Whales,
b) Giant Mutated Elephant Seals,
c) Tiger Sharks, and
d) Cannibals.

No, I am not kidding. There could be more, it's a bit hard to keep track of the carnage (but I don't think the Kodiak bears wandering around the secret Air Force base actually ate anyone).

If I every go back and re-read these books, I'll definitely need to keep a count. I'd say the total number of people eaten alive so far would have to top 50. The Giant Mutated Elephant Seals took out a lot, as did the Killer Whales. The Tiger Sharks only got a paltry 5 or 6, and I think the Cannibal only got to eat one person during the entire course of the novel.

Did I mention these books are completely ridiculous?
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