lyore

Authors, take note.

So your plot is sublimely ludicrous. Your grasp of basic physical concepts tenuous at best. Your writing so full of blams and slams (italics included) I feel like I'm reading an old-school Batman comic. In fact, your writing has the highest number of italics and exclamation marks per paragraph that I have ever seen in a published novel.

But for all this, you can still redeem yourself - by calling one of your groups of bad guy bounty hunters the Intercontinental Guards, Unit 88, and abbreviating it throughout your novel as IG-88. Yep, obscure Star Wars references will win me over every time. :)

The other thing to note about Matthew Reilly is that he appears to have a curious obsession with people being eaten alive. So far this weekend, I've read 3 of his novels (Ice Station, Area 7 and Scarecrow), and off the top of my head I recall people being eaten alive by:

a) Killer Whales,
b) Giant Mutated Elephant Seals,
c) Tiger Sharks, and
d) Cannibals.

No, I am not kidding. There could be more, it's a bit hard to keep track of the carnage (but I don't think the Kodiak bears wandering around the secret Air Force base actually ate anyone).

If I every go back and re-read these books, I'll definitely need to keep a count. I'd say the total number of people eaten alive so far would have to top 50. The Giant Mutated Elephant Seals took out a lot, as did the Killer Whales. The Tiger Sharks only got a paltry 5 or 6, and I think the Cannibal only got to eat one person during the entire course of the novel.

Did I mention these books are completely ridiculous?

Ok, so I'm back online. There are many reasons for my absence from the livejournal world, but they mostly involved too many books and DVDs, and the fact that bob_ette has staged an armed takeover of my internet connection. But she's out at the moment, so I have sole posession - at least until she gets back. This means I've been out of touch with the internet world in general - anything I need to know about?

Anyway, during my little break I have managed to read 10 books (Honor Harrington books by David Weber) and get through all of my new HH dvds, watch the rest of supernatural, and up to episode 4 of Dr Who, so I haven't been completely unproductive :)

( All I can say about the Supernatural is... )

This has been an expensive weekend so far, and it is only half-way done. I bought 2 pairs of gloves, and this stole-y type thing. And season one of Dr Who, so all those who were interested in seeing the Captain Jack goodness, I can now oblige. This is (yet another) down side of hating my work - I comfort shop. Oh well, at least it was stuff I needed. And yes, Dr Who does count amoung life's necessities.

( Bitching about work - you probably don't want to read this )

I have a few other odds and sods I want to share with people, (including the crazyest patent application I have ever seen, featuring special guest appearances by the Androids of the Grey Aliens) but that may have to wait until I remember to forward myself the emails.

Also, I love Bayside. My new fave band (for the next week or so, anyway).