New Years and Matthew Reilly

Hello Internet. Long time no see. And a big belated Merry Christmas/Season's Greetings and Happy New Year to you all.

( Christmas Break and New Years News )

My internet connection is in overdrive, trying to catch up on the TV shows I've missed. I'm so far behind on Torchwood I've stopped checking the groups - hopefully this will be rectified shortly. Unfortunately, my grand 'catch up on current TV shows plan' has been sidetracked by the fact that I'm on a total Hogan's Heroes kick at the moment. That and reading Matthew Reilly. It would have been Alastair Maclean, but I can't get hold of any of his books.

But speaking of Reilly, his books are some of the most ridiculous books I've ever read, absolutely crying out to be made into an action movie (it's no surprise the author says he's a fan of Hollywood blockbusters). In fact, I think that making them into a movie may actually improve the levels of realism, and I can't think of any other books I'd say that about. Which is why I almost burst into laughter when I read the 'well-researched' comment in the reviews on one of the covers - the books are entertaining enough, but well-researched and accurate they are not. I'd call them 'fairy floss books' - lightweight, no intelligent nutritional value at all, but I'll keep reading them. Well, while I can get them for less than $10, anyway.

In fact, while I'm waiting for Torchwood to download, I might go switch my brain of for a while and start reading the next one. Nothing like mindless entertainment for a sunday afternoon/evening.

Reilly Redemption? Or perhaps not.

Authors, take note.

So your plot is sublimely ludicrous. Your grasp of basic physical concepts tenuous at best. Your writing so full of blams and slams (italics included) I feel like I'm reading an old-school Batman comic. In fact, your writing has the highest number of italics and exclamation marks per paragraph that I have ever seen in a published novel.

But for all this, you can still redeem yourself - by calling one of your groups of bad guy bounty hunters the Intercontinental Guards, Unit 88, and abbreviating it throughout your novel as IG-88. Yep, obscure Star Wars references will win me over every time. :)

The other thing to note about Matthew Reilly is that he appears to have a curious obsession with people being eaten alive. So far this weekend, I've read 3 of his novels (Ice Station, Area 7 and Scarecrow), and off the top of my head I recall people being eaten alive by:

a) Killer Whales,
b) Giant Mutated Elephant Seals,
c) Tiger Sharks, and
d) Cannibals.

No, I am not kidding. There could be more, it's a bit hard to keep track of the carnage (but I don't think the Kodiak bears wandering around the secret Air Force base actually ate anyone).

If I every go back and re-read these books, I'll definitely need to keep a count. I'd say the total number of people eaten alive so far would have to top 50. The Giant Mutated Elephant Seals took out a lot, as did the Killer Whales. The Tiger Sharks only got a paltry 5 or 6, and I think the Cannibal only got to eat one person during the entire course of the novel.

Did I mention these books are completely ridiculous?